i don't like sucking hair
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
