There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
