So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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