i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
