I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Randomize
