I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We left an ass print on the piano.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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