just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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