Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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