i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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