i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
