I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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