when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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