You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
