At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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