so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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