there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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