the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Randomize
