you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
