i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
