All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize