he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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