It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
