Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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