How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize