Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize