there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
