Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
