This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Your mouth is God's brothel.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
