So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
