So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
