He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
