i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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