that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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