need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
