If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize