I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
