I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
