Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
