508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
