Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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