i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize