I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
