I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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