just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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