I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
