i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I wear drunk well.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
