I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize