I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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