tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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