So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
