babies were throwing up all over the place
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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