My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
