one two three fourrrrnication!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
