I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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