tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize