that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
