You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
