My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
