3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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