Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
