is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize