Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
