I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
