I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
